31 times Halloween pumpkins totally nailed what it’s like to be a parent

For some, the pumpkin spice latte is life. For us, the literal pumpkin is life—specifically, the first year of life as a parent.

Have you seen this weird internet trend: Halloween pumpkins giving birth? Apparently it’s a thing. So, obviously we decided to illustrate the joys of parenthood through, well, pumpkins. Welcome to the strangest article ever written.

1. Remember the good old days, when you were just two sexy kids (with no kids)?

happy man wearing a pumpkin hat and underwear

Photo: Instructables

2. Then you pee on a stick and…oh, yeah, it’s on.

3. Once the barfing subsides, you’re ready to share the news with the world.

4. Bonus: Your besties are pregnant, too! #squadgoals

three women with pumpkins painted on their pregnant bellies

Photo: Mark Jordan

5. When you try to get some rest, inside your baby be like:

6. Are those Braxton Hicks or the real thing? Better call the midwife, girl!

7. Remember how you worried about having your hair and make up done for the hospital? Hahaha, that was funny. But you still looked great, promise.

pumpkin carved as pregnant woman wearing a blonde wig and giving birth

Photo: Pinterest

8. Thankfully you remembered your chic silk scarf and earrings.

pumpkin carved as pregnant woman with zucchini arms and giving birth

Photo: Pinterest

9. And a pedicure.

pumpkin carved as pregnant woman wearing a bathing cap and giving birth

Photo: The 611 Man

10. Oh, that’s for sure broken forever.

pumpkin carved as pregnant woman wearing hospital scrubs and giving birth

Photo: Pinterest

11. Is the F*!@ING baby coming out sideways?!?!

pumpkin woman having a baby

Photo: Easyday

12. Emergency C-section? But what about my birth plan?

13. I can’t believe it—we did it! He’s perfect!

14. Oh sh*t. Now what?

15. How much poop can one baby even have?

pumpkin carved as baby with a full diaper

Photo: Pinterest

16. Aaaaaaand, I have no nipples. Just raw gaping wounds. Cool.

pumpkin carved as breastfeeding mom with surprised face

Photo: Mommyish

17. Let’s try the pump, maybe?

pumpkin wearing a breast pump and a caption that says *pump*kin

Photo: Pinterest

18. I’m so over pumping all the time, and to be honest, I’m not sure it’s any better.

19. I’m so glad we bought the expensive crib to hold all the new adorable outfits that only fit for three days.

cute baby sleeping in a hollowed out pumpkin

Photo: iStockphoto

20. Look at us rocking parenting and meal planning like total pros. Wait, why is her eye twitching?

21. Some days you answer the door looking just like this.

jack o' lantern with face eaten away by squirrels

Photo: Dalai Lina

22. Hey, check me out. This breastfeeding thing is getting a little easier—and I had time to do my hair!

happy breastfeeding pumpkin mom

Photo: Pinterest

23. But my house looks like this. Mat leave was supposed to be all about organizing and batch cooking, right? RIGHT?


25. What other families look like on Instagram:

26. Meanwhile, you’re trying to get someone (anyone!) to look at the camera.

pumpkin family with funny faces

Photo: Dalai Lina

27. The division of labour is going exactly as planned. We are a great team!

scary pumpkin eating smaller pumpkin

Photo: The Twist

28. Oh look, he’s crawling now. He literally never stops moving. Where the heck is that baby gate?! #fml

29. He starts daycare and you have some time to chill before mat leave ends. NOPE. Now he’s got a new virus every third day. It’s cool to call in sick your first day back to work, right?

30. Those last 12 months weren’t that bad, maybe we should try again? Honey?

tired looking gourd with a limp stem

Photo: shutterstock

31.We’ve totally got this. What could possibly surprise us the second time around?

family of pumpkins with one carved showing two baby pumpkins inside

Photo: Joe Farrier

Source link

What you need to know about lanugo and babies born with hair
For $295 per night you can live inside this storybook cottage resort in Alberta
20 children’s books written by celebrities who have kids
Family fun! 6 things to do in New Hampshire with kids
When it’s not just morning sickness
Chinese gender predictor to see if you’re having a boy or a girl
This cult stretch mark treatment promises results in eight weeks
A nose bleed in pregnancy put my baby and me in danger
What parents need to know about the updated AAP sleep guidelines
21 super relatable breastfeeding memes for when you’re scrolling at 3 a.m.
Is it actually safe to make your own?
Feeding your baby has never been easier with new Canadian baby company Quark
No Preview
6 best cooperative board games for kids who hate to lose
Why it used to take hours to get my kids to sleep
9 tips I learned on my first all-inclusive vacation with kids
19 celebs share their kids’ favourite TV shows and movies
What causes it and how to treat it
America just BANNED crib bumpers and it’s time Canada followed suit
I wish I hadn’t waited so long to go to therapy
I’m an adult and a proud crybaby
Breastfeed baby hungry go sleep easily 6
IEP's – A Parent's Guide – Nicole Black
How Your Birth Order Affects Your Parenting – Kevin Leman and Sally Dunn